"It's a trap!"

Remember when Admiral Ackbar said that in Return of the Jedi?

Where was he when I needed to him a couple days ago?

In follow-up to my last post (apologies in advance for another potty-training episode), things had taken a somewhat "poopy" turn with my daughter's adventures in potty training. I think I might have jinxed the whole process because in the next two days, she expressed all things anti-potty, where she would be so anxious to the extent that she would just hold it to the point of no return and then wet her pants; doing everything in her power to stay away from the "evil potty".

It's been four days since my last post, and I've learned two valuable things not only as a mother, but as a person.

Lesson #1: PMS and potty-training your child is NOT a good combination.

Lesson #2: I need to have more patience. By more, I mean a LOT more.

In trying to figure out the best way to train my daughter, like a good student, I did my homework; seeking profound wisdom from anything or anyone I could find: books, YouTube, other expert mothers, even Dr. Phil; and I became so frustrated and overwhelmed with how everything was telling me how it's soooo easy to train your child to use the potty in less than a day, 3 days, or in one weekend. With one quick wave of the magical potty wand, you're set for life. And then, to add to my frustration, came all the Facebook posts and Tweets about how much progress other mothers were making with their children, while I couldn't figure out why mine seemed to take forever with the whole process. In four days since my last post, I came from celebrating the simple joys and being happy with first day bliss, to completely giving in to "mommy envy", creating trivial drama for myself, and being a complete suck about it. And the worst part? I was taking it out on my daughter.

Shame on me for doing that.

Thankfully my husband grounded me with a blunt reality check. As brilliant as my daughter is, the fact of the matter is that she's just over 2 years and a half. There is still more than enough time for her to learn, experience, and even enjoy. Really, it's only been four days since we started this whole thing, so why am I rushing it? It's not like we actually want her to grow up any faster. Eventually she'll get it on her own time. He couldn't be any more right about that - and that's the part I completely forgot about.

So, we decided to to think of a new strategy - something more positive, and even enjoyable for her and for us. Tonight, we actually managed to get her on the potty before bedtime (which has been excruciatingly hard to do in the past few days) - completely on her own merit. We sang songs (testing the acoustic levels in the bathroom was particularly fun), we played music (drummed on her bath toys), read stories, and told stories to each other; and before we knew it, she had been sitting on the potty for just over an hour; still smiling, laughing, conversing with my husband and I - it was enjoyable for all of us, and definitely a much more refreshing change of pace. We did keep checking the potty from time to time; and although there were no drops of anything to be seen, at least we all came out of it smiling, and actually happy. For all I know, this may go against a lot of what the experts say, but what I do know is that we were having a fantastic time as a family. In contrast to what we were doing before, there was a lot more love involved this time around.

Maybe sometimes (and just sometimes), the best advice is no advice.

Patience is a virtue, one that certainly goes a long way - if you let it. I refuse to allow myself to fall into that trap of unnecessary impatience and anxiety again. It did nothing for me, other than make me turn all shades of ugly.

Instead of experiencing this journey with the "experts", I should really just focus on appreciating and enjoying this journey with my husband and daughter. Less pressure, more love.