32, it's been swell knowin' ya.

the pre-celebration with the hubby @ latitude food & drink, georgetown, on.

"Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn." - C.S. Lewis

A new year is about to dawn for me in a few hours.
At the end of 32, this is where life finds me:

humbled and blessed.
more in love with my husband than I have ever been before.
appreciating my role as a mother with more patience and love.
possessing a renewed willingness to learn.
newly employed (again).
accepting of the idea that it's okay to say "no" when the opportunity is right.
welcoming both the hardships and prosperity of being a new home-owner.
finding delight in both struggle and sentiment.
in need of spending less, and saving more.
still wanting to get a haircut.
surrounded by wonderful people.
paying less attention to the negative and more to the positive.
hungry for spiritual direction.
enjoying the big and small joys in life, especially random karaoke-esque sing-alongs, and just dance 2014.

last but not least, considering using katy perry's "roar" as my anthem for 33.

It's been quite the journey, 32. Thank you.

"It's a trap!"

Remember when Admiral Ackbar said that in Return of the Jedi?

Where was he when I needed to him a couple days ago?

In follow-up to my last post (apologies in advance for another potty-training episode), things had taken a somewhat "poopy" turn with my daughter's adventures in potty training. I think I might have jinxed the whole process because in the next two days, she expressed all things anti-potty, where she would be so anxious to the extent that she would just hold it to the point of no return and then wet her pants; doing everything in her power to stay away from the "evil potty".

It's been four days since my last post, and I've learned two valuable things not only as a mother, but as a person.

Lesson #1: PMS and potty-training your child is NOT a good combination.

Lesson #2: I need to have more patience. By more, I mean a LOT more.

In trying to figure out the best way to train my daughter, like a good student, I did my homework; seeking profound wisdom from anything or anyone I could find: books, YouTube, other expert mothers, even Dr. Phil; and I became so frustrated and overwhelmed with how everything was telling me how it's soooo easy to train your child to use the potty in less than a day, 3 days, or in one weekend. With one quick wave of the magical potty wand, you're set for life. And then, to add to my frustration, came all the Facebook posts and Tweets about how much progress other mothers were making with their children, while I couldn't figure out why mine seemed to take forever with the whole process. In four days since my last post, I came from celebrating the simple joys and being happy with first day bliss, to completely giving in to "mommy envy", creating trivial drama for myself, and being a complete suck about it. And the worst part? I was taking it out on my daughter.

Shame on me for doing that.

Thankfully my husband grounded me with a blunt reality check. As brilliant as my daughter is, the fact of the matter is that she's just over 2 years and a half. There is still more than enough time for her to learn, experience, and even enjoy. Really, it's only been four days since we started this whole thing, so why am I rushing it? It's not like we actually want her to grow up any faster. Eventually she'll get it on her own time. He couldn't be any more right about that - and that's the part I completely forgot about.

So, we decided to to think of a new strategy - something more positive, and even enjoyable for her and for us. Tonight, we actually managed to get her on the potty before bedtime (which has been excruciatingly hard to do in the past few days) - completely on her own merit. We sang songs (testing the acoustic levels in the bathroom was particularly fun), we played music (drummed on her bath toys), read stories, and told stories to each other; and before we knew it, she had been sitting on the potty for just over an hour; still smiling, laughing, conversing with my husband and I - it was enjoyable for all of us, and definitely a much more refreshing change of pace. We did keep checking the potty from time to time; and although there were no drops of anything to be seen, at least we all came out of it smiling, and actually happy. For all I know, this may go against a lot of what the experts say, but what I do know is that we were having a fantastic time as a family. In contrast to what we were doing before, there was a lot more love involved this time around.

Maybe sometimes (and just sometimes), the best advice is no advice.

Patience is a virtue, one that certainly goes a long way - if you let it. I refuse to allow myself to fall into that trap of unnecessary impatience and anxiety again. It did nothing for me, other than make me turn all shades of ugly.

Instead of experiencing this journey with the "experts", I should really just focus on appreciating and enjoying this journey with my husband and daughter. Less pressure, more love.

celebrating more simpler joys tonight...

If my daughter ever finds this entry by the time she is able to read, or by the time she's hit the "every day is drama, drama, drama" stage of puberty, there is a good chance she'll be incredibly embarrassed by it. The topic of potty training probably isn't one that too many people (parent or not) would appreciate; but well, without going too far into it, I have much to celebrate tonight, and feel compelled to blog about it:

It was our official start to potty training in our household today. And, after 5 misses (4 #1s and 1 #2), which included 4.5 changes of pants and undies, many tears shed (from both parents and child), and frustrations galore; our success finally took form in not just one, but TWO drops of pee in our daughter's potty. Amazing, right?

As her loving mother, I couldn't be any more proud of my daughter's accomplishment.

Hours were spent chasing her down while absolutely refusing to put her pants back on. My patience was tested multiple times with screams of "NO, I WILL NOT USE THE POTTY, MOMMY!" To top it off, my heart would break continuously with every spontaneous burst of tears from wetting her pants, as if each time was the end of the world for my daughter.

And yet, all of that just burst into confetti the moment she finally succeeded. The smile that formed on her face exuded so much joy and delight, that it was more than enough to erase all of the frustration and struggle that led up to that very moment. As far as she was concerned, she had conquered the world. Nothing else mattered except for those two wonderful drops in her potty.

Her father and I celebrate with much jubilation tonight - not just because we've made some progress, but because moments like these are what make parenthood worthwhile.

And really, simple joys like this are far too precious for us to take for granted. 

much appreciated, Axe.

If you've ever seen an Axe commercial, you are probably familiar with their staple plot line: young, beautiful women (usually dressed in scantily clad), who on instinct, immediately pounce on the young men who spritz themselves with Axe body spray, with raw, impulsive, irrational, animal-like intensity.

As a Media teacher, I am aware and understand that these commercials have all the necessary ingredients to effectively sell their product to their target audience. However, I've personally never really had much appreciation for these commercials, nor the Axe product line itself. Surprisingly though, their latest commercial, "Make Love. Not War" (aimed for the this year's Super Bowl slot), was refreshingly the least of what I expected. I'm not exactly sure what the connection is between the content of the commercial to the actual marketing/promotion of their new line, Axe Peace (the last shot of the commercial is the only point where someone is being sprayed with Axe), but I found it to be a breath of fresh air - definitely a nice change, to say the least.

Will this commercial be a new change of heart for Axe? Probably not. But even just a little break from the whole idea that "Sex Sells" goes a long way.

long live the butterflies...

This post made me smile today. Even after almost 7 years of being together (2 years dating, 5 years married this year) with my husband, I still get 'em butterflies.

Jarrid Wilson: Married and Dating

"Wake up each day and pursue your spouse as if you are still on your first few dates. You will see a drastic change for the better in your relationship." -- Jarrid Wilson

got grit?

The hubby's away on business, and the daughter is fast asleep. I should be in bed, but can't seem to keep my eyes closed for more than a few seconds. So, I thought I'd pass some time online and watch a few TEDTalks to stimulate my brain. I revisited one particular TEDTalk presented by Dr. Angela Lee Duckworth called "The Key to Success? Grit" - the first time I watched this was during one of our earlier staff meetings at the high school I teach at. Watching it through a second time, I came to appreciate it more; specifically this quote:

"Grit is passion and perseverance for very long-term goals. Grit is having stamina. Grit is sticking with your future, day in, day out, not just for the week, not just for the month, but for years, and years, working really hard to make that future a reality. Grit is living life like it's a marathon, not a sprint."

And then - just as the "AHA!" light bulb of brilliance switches on in my head, she immediately brings it back to earth and presents the following dilemma: How does one teach someone how to build grit?

This is definitely something that I've continually struggled with in my profession - especially when we currently live in a world where everything has become so "easy access", that we often forget or take our own ability to learn and achieve "the hard way" for granted; sometimes to the point where not necessarily just students, but even adults are so quick to give up and lose that sense of true grit and really work towards something.

As an educator, one of the most disheartening things I've encountered is a student with so much potential to succeed, become disengaged, complacent, stagnant, and develop a defeatist attitude when the "easy way" doesn't work out to their advantage. What ever happened to gumption? Allowing one's setbacks to hold him/her accountable, and take ownership for his/her own learning? Maybe we all need to experience more setbacks and experience failures, and less coddling and hand-holding to allow ourselves to better stand on their own two feet and fend for ourselves. Perhaps we need to help this generation develop more of a Barney Stinson attitude that shouts out "Challenge Accepted" (sans all the promiscuity, of course) at every obstacle presented and put in the blood, sweat, and tears to make our lives more "Legen ... wait for it ... dary!" than well... anything less than that.

When I was in high school, mainly the reason why I aimed to succeed was due to the desire of proving people were wrong when they said I couldn't do something or wasn't good enough. In university, I vividly remember taking a literature course where one of the professors literally held up one of my essays and ripped it up into shreds in front of my eyes, because he thought I was capable of more than just "fluff". Sure, my ego was bruised afterwards, but those experiences made me become a more proficient writer, student, and person overall.

Dr. Duckworth goes on to discuss the concept of "growth mindset" - the belief that the ability to learn is not fixed, that it can change with your effort. There just needs to be more genuine effort in all of us. I believe that there can be joy in failure, as long as we prevent it from consuming us and letting the negativity surrounding that word dwell in our own mindset. As Dr. Duckworth points out, "failure is not a permanent condition" - and this is what this current generation needs to hear more of and experience for themselves.

the drop box

We could all use a little more faith, hope, and love in this world...

"... the best is love."

The Drop Box

mamas, this one's for you.

On Facebook the other day, I was really humbled by a blog post my friend posted on her timeline. After reading it, I wanted every woman and mother I knew to read it for themselves.

Sometimes we mothers need an impacting change of perspective...

and so it begins...

According to my Blogger profile, the last time I blogged was in January of 2008. January 2014 finds me happily married for 4 going on 5 years, a mother of a rather delightfully rambunctious 2-going-on-3-year old girl, and fully employed as a slightly seasoned secondary school teacher.

I never really had intentions of rekindling the blogging flame. My passion for blogging in my 20s was mainly triggered by a desire to procrastinate when I was supposed to be channelling all my "all nighter" energy into writing a university term paper, and then eventually it became a mere outlet for releasing my angst about all things life-related from bad haircuts to the humdrum of the everyday.

My blogging gradually came to a stop when I had nothing left to complain or rant about. The more optimistic and appreciative I became, the less I blogged.

Of course, the life-issues which could lead to ranting and raving don't magically disappear when you're in your 30s. There are more bills to pay, house maintenance issues, more mouths to feed other than your own, many attempts in trying to overcome the obstacle of potty training (preferably for your child and not yourself), and the list goes on. But, thankfully somehow, the the focus shifts, and you learn to deal with it - sometimes gracefully, sometimes not, but you eventually move on. 

Wouldn't it be interesting (maybe even amazing) though if people blogged, tweeted, or "facebooked" (I'm still getting used to the idea that this is being used as verb now) more about the positive things they've been inspired or blessed by instead of bombarding cyberspace with so much negativity and "yuckiness" (for lack of a better word)? Perhaps a random act of kindness that someone has gracefully shown them, or the experience of witnessing a sunrise, full of reddish and pink hues splashed across the sky - experiences like these may not be life-changing, but it could be a blessing to someone else.

It's so easy to blurt out negative thoughts, simply because this whole world is full of it already - in the media, in our conversations, in our impressions of people, sometimes without even knowing it. It's almost like it's become second nature to a lot of us, which is a little disheartening if you think about it. 

So, I have decided that in this blog, I will not post excessively happy thoughts at every waking moment, but rather, I will attempt to share a few inspiring thoughts here and there that enforce the idea that even the simplest joys are much to be appreciated; with the hope that one or two people will be blessed along the way. 

We'll see how far I can take this. But for now, challenge accepted.